it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
