We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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