Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
