We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
