just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
