i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
