it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
