need another drink. this is the easiest way
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
