the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
