i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
