I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
