i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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