I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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