We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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