Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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