I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
