Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
