fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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