There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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