I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
