Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
