weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you would pick up someone in the library
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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