Betty ford says i'm here all night
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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