you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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