quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
How external is "for external use only"?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
