I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
