doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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