i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
