My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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