Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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