i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
