So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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