Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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