i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
