It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
And then he peed in my hair
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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