i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
