yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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