we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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