You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
