I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
