North Korea, Best Korea!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
