vagina is talking i cant
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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