And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
