U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
