Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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