At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
