It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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