I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
