its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The feeling are messing with the penis
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
