I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
