Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
