If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
