He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize