I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
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