I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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